If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
so much tequila, so little girl.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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