she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
