The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
