i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
