i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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