I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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