I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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