the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
