i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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