i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
