I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
