There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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