So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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