hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
