The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
