We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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