cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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