Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
