if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
