so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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