If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
