Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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