If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
