i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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