Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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