he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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