ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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