you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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