i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
