Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
