Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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