So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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