thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
