do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
