Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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