i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
