No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
