Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
