Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
