sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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