Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are a genius and a whore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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