I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
