Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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