Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
