i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
