6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
