Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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