I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
