Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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