I faked an abortion last night.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
