Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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