ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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