In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
