I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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