wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
