do herpes really smell.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
