Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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