Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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