She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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