i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
