You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
