that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
