Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
